The dreaded grocery store

     For most people, the grocery store is just a thing on their "to do" list that requires no sort of anxiety or attention, but for most people with Social Anxiety, it can take hours or days to build up the confidence to go. For me personally, it usually only takes me a couple hours to build up the strength, but I'm on the milder side of anxiety. Anyway, today was "chore" day, which involved me needing to pick up stuff from HEB. My normal routine consists of this...

1. Write down everything you need to get in order of where they are located in the store. Back tracking is embarrassing and obviously someone will notice and laugh

2. Write the list down again more legibly and pretty in case someone sees it and they won't judge how poor your hand writing is or how unorganized you are

3. Get in car and drive to store. Listen to powerful music that totally pumps you up. Shit like Roar by Katy Perry and pretty much anything by Journey or Hall and Oates

4. Sit in car for 10 minutes making sure no one can see you. If someone stares at you, you must wait another 10 minutes

5. Finally grab a cart. If it's one of those super awkward ones where they refuse to separate from their life partner, just walk inside and hope you see a lonely cart you can steal

6. Go in order of sections and grab what you need. If someone is in your way, then that item will just not be bought today

7. Make sure no one is looking at you. If someone does, hide in an empty aisle and pretend mexican beans are super fascinating

8. Finally make your way to the frozen foods. Yes! Lean Cuisines are on sale 6 for $10! Hurry and grab them so skinny people don't see you and notice how overweight you are

9. It's finally time to check out. Pretend to be deaf so no one will talk to you*

*If someone who knows ASL tries to help, just say no thank and leave

10. Go back into your car and cry a little. Sometimes you don't sometimes you do.

Anyway, that's usually how it goes for me. I'm sure others can relate. I'm sure most of you are reading this thinking "holy shit this girl needs therapy." Yes, I'm aware.